golgotha

so when all was said and done then

on that day emptier than any other

Your broken body hung there

Your bloody sacrifice seeping into the ground

in the shadow of that dreadful day

the Father’s heart had turned away

You had bourn all our sin and shame

the world had changed, never ever be the same

when all the jeers and insults with venom had been screamed

and spit and blood had mingled

just the crown of thorns remained

i could recognise myself there

staring at a man

i could even hear my voice there

laughing at the pain

so when all was said and done then

or that was what I thought

the cost of that great sacrifice

a sinner/ rapist/ murderer/ thief/ gossip/ slanderer

yes, my salvation bought

when all that i had ever done and yet

would do in years to come

was there on that cross of love

the world became strangely dim

and then it was just

me

and

Him

Goeie Vrydag

hoe kyk ons dan verdwaas

na die Redder van volke

Hy sou so alles

kom verander en regeer

hoe donker hier om ons

hoe koud in die dag

hoe min hul genade
hoe magtig God's krag?
hoe klein ons geloof dan
hoe blind dan ons oë
dat ons nie kan glo
of kan sien op die dag
Hy's dood! Hy's dood....
hoe duister die nag
hier op goeie Vrydag

How will they know Me?

a journey that I am undertaking right now is the journey of faith - to believe that which we can not see but is certain of, to being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (NIV).

The Amplified Bible says in Hebrews 1:1 "NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses)"

so here's the thing.... we can easily have faith when everything works according to (my) plan... that which i've prayed for, asked for, is comfortable in, expecting.

however, when that faith is called to go beyond the "what" - the job/ relationship/ financial stability/ peace and comfort to the "who", that is when true faith is displayed.

I've come to realise that God is much more interested in my character than my comfort. God is much more interested in my growth than an easy life. God loves me much more than letting me live a life of mediocrity. And if I can't follow God through that which is not easy, comfortable, gladdening, instilling hope, then what do I believe?

If people can not see how God leads me through the hurt, the desperation, the loss, the hatred, how will they ever know His love?

God is not interested in me being a woman obsessed about her own glory, but He is looking for someone obsessed with the glory of God. If others do not see the Christ in me, how will they ever know Him. My life, walking with God through the good and the bad, the easy and the tough times, the reality of a life on this earth, might be the only Bible/ Word of God that they will ever read.

How will they know Him, through me?

one day at a time...

today is a hard day. having received so many blessings on a spiritual, emotional and financial level i do not want to sound like i am not being thankful, for an amazing God that provides and cares and never abandons us.

but today is hard.

having woken up with a sms to carry my brother in prayer (the one that lost his darling little girl) and just feeling the great pain inside again for my little niece that was supposed to turn 7 in little less than a month and a half, today i've found hard. i've battled to concentrate, i've battled to go on with a "normal" life. i've battled to keep on keeping on. and i've known that in struggling, i'm definitely not the only one carrying pain.

i have stood amazed at the different ways that people try and help and make you feel better or relate or do not know how to relate others pain. to be quite honest, dealing with someone's pain is hard, no matter how trained we are in counselling or caring for each other as Christians. because when it really comes down to it, there is nothing you can say to make things better. you can be there, you can physically hug someone, but no words can make the pain go away. the only thing to do in the coalface of pain is to pray... and even that is hard sometimes... trying to find the words when none is left.

some people in not knowing what to say have said, perhaps it was for the best (for who? even though i know on an intellectual level that eternity is better). someone has said whether we're feeling better now (how, when there is still so much pain and missing). some even says that you just have to tell yourself she's never coming back and to get on with life (sound advice, but the reason we're hurting is because we know we will only see her again in the after-life). someone else even mentioned that God plucks the most beautiful flowers for decoration in heaven (do you know how cruel that sounds).

i am thankful today for people that care... even those who muck it all up in trying to do so. i am even more thankful for family and friends that has just held us, in their arms, in their thoughts and in their prayers. i am thankful that i know that God loves us and have experienced Jesus personally in my life.

i am thankful today that there is eternity, that i know where ilne lives and that i know that she is happy and looked after. but i struggle with wondering why our little angel had to go. and i am struggling seeing the hurt that it causes my family.

i suppose life isn't fair and it would even be more unfair if God let all the bad stuff only happen to those who are not His children. i suppose there is so much we will never understand in this life. and i suppose that is ok.

so even on a day like today, i'll remember that God's grace for today will be sufficient. i'll be thankful for those who uphold us in their prayers. and i'll keep close to God... when there's nowhere else to go.

if you are in pain today, whether physically or emotionally, may God through this simple prayer, cover you in cotton wool, hide you beneath His wing and keep your mind at peace through His Holy Spirit.

When we're hurting...

I've realised early on in life that "Life is what happens when we've got other plans." I'm not always sure whether it is because God says His grace is new every morning and our society has taught us that we have to make the 5 year plan / 10 year plan, which does not seem to align....

But the fact is, that more often than not life does not turn out the way you planned it or expected it to. And sometimes even the best intentions from people that love you, hurt.

And it's so easy to turn that hurt into resentment and anger. To feel self-righteous and justified and hurt back. It seems to be part of our old nature.

But God says: "Bring it to me. Bring it all to me."

So when we're hurting Jesus says I've already paid the price, and in the New Heaven and on the New Earth there will be no more tears, no more sorrow, no more hurting. But seek my Kingdom here, today.

I suppose that is why so many people who return to this life after seeing heaven, says "we do not understand, the life hereafter is more amazing than we could ever imagine". And it is forever...

I could do with sitting at the feet of Jesus, today, while I am hurting and forever more.

Thank God, she lives in Eternity with her beloved Jesus!

To all our brothers and sisters in Christ. Our little Ilne decided that it was time to go to her beloved Jesus on Monday afternoon 16h30. Praise Him, she's alive in paradise. We have peace that she has gone to be dancing in front of her BIG BIG God and we will see her in Eternity. We will miss her terribly, but we thank God for having had the blessing of knowing her and witnessing how much she loved and served our Lord, even at the age of 6.

Even in the past 3 weeks, her life was a witness to many, in our country and around the world in at least 12 countries and many lives changed through the testimony of a little girl consecrated to God. We do not have all the answers and we will miss forever, but look forward to meeting her one day in heaven. Ilne's message to everyone staying behind would be: "Live life to the full and know God intimately". Take heed to that message.

Please join us in thanking God for His eternal love, for lending us this angel for 6 years and for giving us a hope that we will one day see her again. Ilne, we love you FOREVER!

We also pray God's blessings upon you for standing strongly with us in faith and your prayers. Your support has been amazing.

God bless you.

emotions, emotions, emotions

in those moments where i am totally at peace, but yet also just so human and feel the strong pangs of missing the one i love and can not be with right now, i know that God sees me and reaches out.

and this is where i think we often make the mistake. God took great care in giving us a range of emotions and when the Bible speaks about finding your joy in the Lord, it doesn't mean that we should always walk around with a "haha" happy happy attitude. too often Christians do not get real about how we're really feeling in the hope that others will think that we find our joy and peace in Him, and it becomes a bit of an achievement culture. the happier, the closer we must be to God?

serving Jesus does not mean that i will only have the so-called positive emotions. too often sadness or feeling tired or down is seen as "negative emotions". it is only when satan uses these to keep us in bondage that it becomes a problem.

but the Bible shows us that Jesus felt anxiety and anger and sadness. when he heard that Lazarus had died, he cried. i think he mostly cried for Lazarus' friends and his family, but also for him. i think he also cried, because it made the gap that had come between God and man because of sin, so tangible for Him to see. when He saw what the sellers had done to God's beloved temple, He got angry and chased them out. when He saw how the leaders of Israel were misleading His people, He called them for what they were. when He realised that His time to be separated from His Father and the time to carry the sins of the world was upon Him, He took it to His Father in anxiety, and was sweating blood. He asked God if it could not be different.

And maybe that is what we need to learn - in all our emotions, albeit feeling good or feeling like death, we need to take it to our heavenly Father. He longs to help us carry where we are too tired to go on, He longs to share the moments where life just seems incredibly good, He longs to hold us when it just hurts too much. He longs to walk with us, speak to us, commune with us.

He longs to be there every step of the way, whether we're crying or celebrating. He is our God.

Closer to God

When bad things happen to good people, there is often one of two responses. Either God doesn't care or God is not in control. So quick are people to then say that free choice is not that important and that God could have stopped whatever happened from happening.

God sometimes allows bad things to happen to His children. Not because He wants to punish them. Not because He doesn't love them. Just because He is a fair God and He it would not be fair that all the bad stuff only happened to people not believing in Him. But so often, if we ask Him He does protect us, or something happens that seems really terrible but in hindsight was a warning for something worse.

And when bad things happen which we dont understand, we do have the amazing promises of His word. He says in Romans 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." In Romans 8:37 - 39 the Word says "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

And in this lies the secret, when bad things happen to you, God wants us to move closer to Him, not further away. He wants to lift you up in His arm, surround you with His goodness, calm you with His peace. He wants to reassure you of His love, carry you were it gets too hard to go any further. He wants to be your rearguard and your Salvation. So move closer to Him! Under the shadow of His wing, He can dry your tears and let all things work for the good of those who love Him. By looking to Him in faith, we allow Him to take even the bad and turn it into good. He can do that because He is God - and He loves us.

Because that is what LOVE does!

Jesus humbled himself.
He went from commanding angels
To sleeping in the straw.
From holding stars
To clutching Mary's finger.
The palm that held the universe
Took the nail of a soldier.

Why?

Because that is what LOVE does.

Jesus went from being God
to being human too.
From intimate communion with the Trinity
to being forsaken by God.
From having the right to condemn sinners
to dying for them on a cross.

Why?

Because that is what LOVE does.

Jesus went from heavenly thronerooms
to a humble manger.
From angels bowing before him
to shepherds at night.
From loving us always
to loving us more.

Why

Because that is what LOVE does.

The gift of God
The birth of Christ
This is Christmas

This is love... from the God of LOVE.

May you experience the Love, Joy and Peace that Jesus brought into this world, a Love, Joy and Peace that transcends any human understanding, a Love, Joy and Peace that is still relevant, even for you today. All you have to do is to accept it. Right now.... today.

God with us!

It's Jesus' birthday... we could go into a major philosophical discussion on whether this is the real date, on whether we should be celebrating Christmas at all as it started as a pagan ritual. We could debate a whole bunch of things.. but this is not what Christmas is about.

A very dear friend of mine often says, keep it simple. God loved us so much that He sent His only Son to be born as a mere mortal being. I'm sure it wasn't all smooth-sailing. Like any birth there was pain and a baby crying. There was simplicity in where He was born. There was no doctors to help with painkillers or the delivery. There wasn't a host of angels to smooth the birth.

But there was joy on earth, where a host of angels told the shepherds about this amazing thing. There was PEACE! as God fulfilled His promises... as He always does. There was hope for a world that had become numbed in its hopelessness.

There was amazement by the world's wisest. The star that they followed across the evening sky moved in the opposite direction to what was a natural law.

That day when Jesus was born, to start His journey on earth, God came to be with us, Emmanuel. God came to make a way back to Him. God loved us that much, that He left His throneroom, and became man. Both Human and Divine.

What a glorious day! He was the fulfillment of all promises. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will provide your every need. Nothing can separate you from My love. My burden is light and my yoke soft. I will be with you till the end of time. I will be Your Father and you will be my children.

All we can say is Amen, Amen to that. Come Lord Jesus, Come.

May you be very blessed this Christmas in the notion that God is WITH US!! Glory be to the one and only faithful God.