Maria

my kind, my Kind
wat het dan gebeur
die spykers, die bloed
ek dog Pilatus is goed
die skare word maller
en ek... word net banger
hoe staan jy onskuldig
gelsaan vir die gepeupel
my kind, my Kind
ek sien nog die ster
die herders en engele
die manne van ver
waar is jou vader dan
en ons Vader ook

dis skielik koud
en ek word oud
as ek hoor hoe jy afdaal
na die hel
ook my Hel

Goeie Vrydag

hoe kyk ons dan verdwaas

na die Redder van volke

Hy sou so alles

kom verander en regeer

hoe donker hier om ons

hoe koud in die dag

hoe min hul genade
hoe magtig God's krag?
hoe klein ons geloof dan
hoe blind dan ons oë
dat ons nie kan glo
of kan sien op die dag
Hy's dood! Hy's dood....
hoe duister die nag
hier op goeie Vrydag

back to basics....

We've all experienced it.  That moment of divine revelation, when things just fall into place and start making sense.  Or that moment when you are reminded of an old truth, that rings new again and gets a different dimension.

Last night we listened to an old Catholic priest reminding us of who we are.  He said that in this world, people describe themselves in terms of what they DO.... The question "who are you?" is answered with "I am a businessman", "I'm an athlete" as if the doing is more important than the being.

Another way the question is answered is terms of what you or others say about you.  It is positive in the world's eyes, measured in money, big titles, the shrewd businessman, or if you do not have those handles, you are the loser, or the "flaky" one or the hanger on.

And then of course the answer gets answered in terms of what you have: the man that owns the mansion on the hill, the woman with the sleek cabriolet, the old man that lives in a delapitated shack.

So who are you?  If you strip yourself from your work title, your daily objectives, your bank balance, your media persona.  Who are you, there where it is just you, and no-one else.

The priest reminded us that we are "sons and daughters of the one most High", that our identity is in Christ.  He reminds us that each of us is that unique human being, with the eye prints, foot prints, voice prints and DNA, that He has created.  That there is no-one that can fill that place and space that He has created us for.  The scriptures speaks about us being God's poema, His poetry, the ones He has plans for.

And here where I am, stripped of all but God and people that love me, I have to ask again:  Who am I?  Why am I here? And I have to hang onto God's promise that we are His children, bought at a very expensive price - the blood of the Son of the living God.

And if in times, nothing seems to make sense, we need to turn back to the basics.  God's love, our significance in His eyes, the freedom that He has made us for, the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit in us.  Basics.  Being present here in this moment, and leaving the rest to God's will, His works.

An old Celtic Blessing

This year has been tough, and my words few.  But i got reminded of this beautiful blessing tonight and wanted to share it.


May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I am thankful...

as I look back at what could arguably be the hardest year I've ever had and times where I felt totally alone, I am thankful.


I am thankful for opportunities to do something that has never been done before even though  it nearly killed me.  I am thankful for miracles big and small that I've witnessed and experienced.  I am thankful that God decided when I was done.


I am thankful for times when I had no where to turn but God.  I am thankful for times that even when it didn't feel that God was present in my life, yet He still was there.


I am thankful to have learnt in a year that I could surrender to "whatever Lord".  That "whatever" is a place of true surrender and true freedom. That I had learnt about moments where I am thankful that even though it seemed as if God was not providing what I needed, He did.  That even in those times when there was not food for petrol, or debit orders bounced for the first time in 15 years, God knew what I needed - and that the world would not come to an end and that humbling myself in explaining my circumstances to someone would not kill me.


I am grateful for friends and family that held up my hands, kept me in their prayers, comforted my tears, walked beside me when words failed and shared in my moments of joy and elation.


I am thankful for 2010 - the good and the bad, the easy and the tough, the moments of elation and moments of devastation.  I am thankful for that which is past, and thankful that the future is also in His hands.


I want to live a life of gratitude, because I have so much not having deserved any of it.  I want to thank the God of enough.  It has been a good good year.

there is more!

so i've found there is more than this, more than just what the eye sees.  


to you with the big car, the massive house, the designer family, there is so much more.  to you the power hungry, that destroys everything that was before, just because it wasn't your idea.... there is more.


to you who manipulate those human beings that you're suppose to nurture and twist the truth, and maneuver everything to suit your goals, your wants, your needs... i'm telling you there is more.


to you whose heart has been broken, who's living in pain and daily agony, who's feeling isolated and can not think about the next 24 hours... there is more.


to you who is worried about the next bit of money, to pay the rent, pay with your soul, have something new that will bring you joy... there is more.


to the lost, the lonely, those who pretend they're ok, but they're not. it is ok, there is more.


there is a God who wants to bestow on you - love, joy, peace, hope, faith... in case you say "i'm too weary", "love is not enough", "no-one really cares", "my money will buy me happiness", "i'm too intelligent to believe", trust me and let me tell you there is more.


there is a life that is free, filled with love and unspeakable peace, that goes beyond understanding.  there is fullness beyond what you have ever experienced in your life.  there is abundance of relevation, excitement, contentment and those things that you have searched your whole life for.  trust me, i've been there.  all you have to do is ask.


and He WILL answer.

How will they know Me?

a journey that I am undertaking right now is the journey of faith - to believe that which we can not see but is certain of, to being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (NIV).

The Amplified Bible says in Hebrews 1:1 "NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses)"

so here's the thing.... we can easily have faith when everything works according to (my) plan... that which i've prayed for, asked for, is comfortable in, expecting.

however, when that faith is called to go beyond the "what" - the job/ relationship/ financial stability/ peace and comfort to the "who", that is when true faith is displayed.

I've come to realise that God is much more interested in my character than my comfort. God is much more interested in my growth than an easy life. God loves me much more than letting me live a life of mediocrity. And if I can't follow God through that which is not easy, comfortable, gladdening, instilling hope, then what do I believe?

If people can not see how God leads me through the hurt, the desperation, the loss, the hatred, how will they ever know His love?

God is not interested in me being a woman obsessed about her own glory, but He is looking for someone obsessed with the glory of God. If others do not see the Christ in me, how will they ever know Him. My life, walking with God through the good and the bad, the easy and the tough times, the reality of a life on this earth, might be the only Bible/ Word of God that they will ever read.

How will they know Him, through me?