Shattering the illusion of your insignificance

We can so easily weigh up our lives and compare them to how the rest of the world is doing. We can so easily try and figure out what we have achieved against what our brothers, our neighbours or our friends have done.

And that's when God says: "Don't!" God took such great care in creating you unique. You have fingerprints, voiceprints, eyeprints and DNA, that's you, totally uniquely. Before you there was no-one like you and after you, although your children might carry parts of your DNA, there will be no-one like you.

Our God, the God of the Bible, makes salvation and His relationship with you personal. He says that He has counted the hair on your head. He says that your name is engraved on the palm of His hand. He says that even if a mother could forget her child, He would never forget you.

He makes a covenant with you - a binding agreement. He loves us, even before we might decide to love Him back.

If you are struggling today, you look back at your life and you seem to feel just average, if you do not get the recognition from those around you, if you actually just wish this life could have been different or be done with, God wants to remind you, that you are unique, and His love for you is special. 

You were not an accident. You're being here, was not by fate. God still has a plan for you. He has chosen you for this time, for this moment, for this situation.

Jesus, dying on the cross, for you - means that it shatters all illusions of insignificance. You are important to God and throughout His word, He takes special care to show you that He cares about individuals - the son who was forgotten with the flock of sheep, the Samaratin woman who was despised by her own people, the fishermen who grew up with the locals. 

He doesn't ask you to be great in terms of worldly standards. All He asks of you is to love Him, in whatever way you are able to.

Lord, thank you for reminding me that I am significant in your eyes. Help me to see myself the way you see me.

By grace alone

 

And it struck me, as if for the first time.  But for grace, I wouldn't have been here.

God could have struck us sinful people of the face of the earth, but He didn't.  He decided to keep us.  He could have never sent His Son to make a way back to Him, but He did.  He didn't have to. 

God could have placed me in a home where intellectualism would defy the Creator of the Universe.  He could have, but He didn't.

God could have let me born in a place where another god was said to be god and I would never have heard the sweet name of Jesus.  He could have, but He didn't.

God could have let me be born in a place where I was never allowed to read a Bible, would have been prosecuted for speaking about Jesus and fear for my life in a war torn world, but He didn't.

He could have had me be born in a family where the widespread abuse of us as children, could have left deep scars for life.  He didn't have to give me a family that knows and loves God.  He didn't have to give me a mother and father that stay on their knees carrying their children, but He did.

God didn't have to reveal Himself to us in nature. He could have made the world ugly, we had no right to expect more.  He could have, but He didn't.

God could have kept quiet, not let His Spirit dwell in us, who are weak and sinful and so feeble in our feelings.  But He didn't.

God could have left me and forsaken me.  He could have let me keep on sinning and being an abomination in His eyes, but He saved me, He loved me.  He didn't have to, but He did.

God could have had me born blind, or deaf, or different-abled.  And I would have missed a part of His wonderful world.  He could have, but he didn't.

God could have never sent His Son, to die on a cross for us, me and you.  He could have never been born in a manger, and never experienced what it was like to be human, and never have known fear, and hatred, and loneliness.  He could have just stayed in perfect trinity and never have known what it feels like to feel abandoned by God.  He could have turned around at the cross and said it was too hard.  He could have gone to hell and after all the rejection and deception and denounciation, decided we were just not worth it, he could have done so many other things that would have left us lost and forgotten and unsaved.  He could have, but He didn't.

And then it strikes me.  And I crumble and I cry.  Here I am - by grace - by the unmerited favour of God.  I am loved and forgiven and released and free.  God didn't have to save me for I definitely did not deserve it.  But He did.  And that is glorious grace.

twilight

the city sighs a silent sigh
tucks her head into the fold
of the mountain up high
breathes out the day of another
lacklustre rat race
wonders about the purpose of it all
and reluctantly falls asleep -
today was a very long day....

your hand in the small of my back  

makes half promises

of hopes that will be thwarted

dreams that will be still born

futures that will remain unanswered

it's time not to be moved. 

Thief

away with you oh handsome one
who stole my heart
and hence to come and
return it still

the only problem
it seems to be
that i identified for all to see
you left the box and rode of quick,
and kept hwat was inside you shit

so away with you, you cleptomaniac
and leave me
here
without no heart

who needs a broken one anyway

Love song

Into me You see

You see me
You
see
me

Into me You be
You be
You be with me, in me

With me then you walk
Yes You walk and talk
with me
yes me

Into me You see
and when You see me
You love
   me
yes, all of me

Hope

hope is a rainbow

on a grey afternoon

forgotten promises

like a fragrance discovered

reminiscent of

faith

that once

was

let us not wait in vain

let us not hope

until all is shrivelled

and forgotten

Wonderwerk

en God gryp in
soos vantevore
Hy maak die pad deur die see
die water vloei uit die rots
die donkie praat
die engele sing
ons God gryp in
in pyn en seer en opgee
en weer gaan le
in eensaamheid
en in koud
Hy staan daar en roep

Al wat Hy wil he
is dat ons Hom net sal soek

Grieving

in that moment then when he was gone

my heart broke for your brokenness

and your "have to go on"

and i stretched out my hand

to wipe your face dry

to hold you so tight

until the why's had quieten down

and there you'll remain in cotton wool grace

and mercy and kindness

until you see again God's face

insanity

dream catcher dream catcher
catch me my dreams
before they disappear
in cynical silences
in backstabbing concrete walls
in delirious hatred
in the madness of our time

weave in me
conceive in me
a consciousness of limitless skies
a freedom that won’t let me
lie down, die down
without showing
God is ALIVE

Blue

i got not mail,

no mail i've got
so i'm singing the blues
i'm happy, so NOT

my mailbox is empty
my day is too
cos i got no mail
no mail from you

golgotha

so when all was said and done then

on that day emptier than any other

Your broken body hung there

Your bloody sacrifice seeping into the ground

in the shadow of that dreadful day

the Father’s heart had turned away

You had bourn all our sin and shame

the world had changed, never ever be the same

when all the jeers and insults with venom had been screamed

and spit and blood had mingled

just the crown of thorns remained

i could recognise myself there

staring at a man

i could even hear my voice there

laughing at the pain

so when all was said and done then

or that was what I thought

the cost of that great sacrifice

a sinner/ rapist/ murderer/ thief/ gossip/ slanderer

yes, my salvation bought

when all that i had ever done and yet

would do in years to come

was there on that cross of love

the world became strangely dim

and then it was just

me

and

Him

When you're going through hell....

We've all heard the saying that if you are going through hell, keep on walking.  It just suddenly struck me tonight, that that was what God expected from the Israelites. When He was leading them through the desert.  And there was a message in that for me.

Going through a specifically trying time in my life this year, it suddenly dawned on me:  Keep on walking.  (And this does not refer to the TV ad :) )

I can sit and have a small pity party for myself - I might even have a reason to do so (until I compare myself to others who have so much less).  I can grieve for what I do not have (and grieve I possibly sometimes will).  But when all of that is done, I need to know that I can't just sit and wait for better days.  Or until something changes.

God wants me to get up, and get going.  There might be days where I will just walk, not really talking to anyone, maybe not even to God.  Days where I might not even look up, as the journey is incredibly hard.  Days where I will be thankful for refreshment of God's touch, and friends' and family's love.  There will be water out of a rock, some oases in the midst of that long outstretched space of nothingness (and everything).

God promises not to forsake me.  He promises to show me the way.  He promises that He won't relent until He has my all.  But for now, I'll just keep on walking in the notion that I am not alone.

God bless you today.

Peace

Our world is in turmoil.  A country reeling from the aftermath of earthquakes and tsunamis, the world watching with baited breath as the Middle East and North Africa explodes again and people get killed as if is just another violent movie on TV, the murder of a terrorist (yes, I chose those words carefully), a world economy that is fragile.... everything that can be shaken is being shaken.  We celebrate the death of an evil man, call another's dead children "collateral damage".  We live in a world that has become desensitized to human beings' dying.

People hold peace talks, search for inner peace and decide what actions will bring about peace.  Doctors write scripts so that people can just be more at peace, talk show hosts interview hosts of gurus who will tell you how to find it.

But that's just it.  Peace is not something you can negotiate for (you might find some compromises, but is there peace in people's hearts?).  Peace is not something you can learn.  Peace is not something you can buy and peace is not attainable by filling the vacuum inside with wealth, power, crassness or any other promise that the world media would make us.  True peace is not something you can just achieve because you will it to be.

Attaining peace is hard, but yet so simple.  Jesus said:  My peace I give you, a peace that goes beyond any understanding.  The angels announces His birth with a message of peace to all the earth.

And that's where things seems to get really strange.  From the outside looking in, people sometimes might look at you, thinking that you have lost the plot or do not understand the questions of life. And if you look at your circumstances, youshould be panicking or berating others or at least complain bitterly about life being unfair.  But peace seems to cover over all of those emotions. So much so that you might even question your own sanity.

It gives you the wisdom to know whatever you are going through shall also pass.... It gives you faith to believe in that which you can not see.  It teaches you that everyone in this world get their moments of jubilant joy and their moments of terrible grief.  Peace teaches you that no matter what, God will be their with you. It teaches you that life takes strange paths, but that even if on a physical level there seems to be no open door, in the spiritual, God has not forgotten. Peace, almost like cotton wool or the womb of a mother, wraps around you and cushions you against life's bumps and major disasters.

Peace helps you when you need to learn about faith and truth and patience.  It takes you through the situation where you are down to nothing... but God.
Peace helps you to go on, even where there seems no way that you can.  Peace shows you that it's not about striving but about resting. Peace teaches you to turn, to Him, the Prince of Peace. 

May you experience the true peace that comes with knowing Him.  It is easy, not hard.

(If you'd like to know more, leave a comment on my blog.  God bless you.)

Maria

my kind, my Kind
wat het dan gebeur
die spykers, die bloed
ek dog Pilatus is goed
die skare word maller
en ek... word net banger
hoe staan jy onskuldig
gelsaan vir die gepeupel
my kind, my Kind
ek sien nog die ster
die herders en engele
die manne van ver
waar is jou vader dan
en ons Vader ook

dis skielik koud
en ek word oud
as ek hoor hoe jy afdaal
na die hel
ook my Hel

Goeie Vrydag

hoe kyk ons dan verdwaas

na die Redder van volke

Hy sou so alles

kom verander en regeer

hoe donker hier om ons

hoe koud in die dag

hoe min hul genade
hoe magtig God's krag?
hoe klein ons geloof dan
hoe blind dan ons oë
dat ons nie kan glo
of kan sien op die dag
Hy's dood! Hy's dood....
hoe duister die nag
hier op goeie Vrydag

back to basics....

We've all experienced it.  That moment of divine revelation, when things just fall into place and start making sense.  Or that moment when you are reminded of an old truth, that rings new again and gets a different dimension.

Last night we listened to an old Catholic priest reminding us of who we are.  He said that in this world, people describe themselves in terms of what they DO.... The question "who are you?" is answered with "I am a businessman", "I'm an athlete" as if the doing is more important than the being.

Another way the question is answered is terms of what you or others say about you.  It is positive in the world's eyes, measured in money, big titles, the shrewd businessman, or if you do not have those handles, you are the loser, or the "flaky" one or the hanger on.

And then of course the answer gets answered in terms of what you have: the man that owns the mansion on the hill, the woman with the sleek cabriolet, the old man that lives in a delapitated shack.

So who are you?  If you strip yourself from your work title, your daily objectives, your bank balance, your media persona.  Who are you, there where it is just you, and no-one else.

The priest reminded us that we are "sons and daughters of the one most High", that our identity is in Christ.  He reminds us that each of us is that unique human being, with the eye prints, foot prints, voice prints and DNA, that He has created.  That there is no-one that can fill that place and space that He has created us for.  The scriptures speaks about us being God's poema, His poetry, the ones He has plans for.

And here where I am, stripped of all but God and people that love me, I have to ask again:  Who am I?  Why am I here? And I have to hang onto God's promise that we are His children, bought at a very expensive price - the blood of the Son of the living God.

And if in times, nothing seems to make sense, we need to turn back to the basics.  God's love, our significance in His eyes, the freedom that He has made us for, the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit in us.  Basics.  Being present here in this moment, and leaving the rest to God's will, His works.

An old Celtic Blessing

This year has been tough, and my words few.  But i got reminded of this beautiful blessing tonight and wanted to share it.


May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I am thankful...

as I look back at what could arguably be the hardest year I've ever had and times where I felt totally alone, I am thankful.


I am thankful for opportunities to do something that has never been done before even though  it nearly killed me.  I am thankful for miracles big and small that I've witnessed and experienced.  I am thankful that God decided when I was done.


I am thankful for times when I had no where to turn but God.  I am thankful for times that even when it didn't feel that God was present in my life, yet He still was there.


I am thankful to have learnt in a year that I could surrender to "whatever Lord".  That "whatever" is a place of true surrender and true freedom. That I had learnt about moments where I am thankful that even though it seemed as if God was not providing what I needed, He did.  That even in those times when there was not food for petrol, or debit orders bounced for the first time in 15 years, God knew what I needed - and that the world would not come to an end and that humbling myself in explaining my circumstances to someone would not kill me.


I am grateful for friends and family that held up my hands, kept me in their prayers, comforted my tears, walked beside me when words failed and shared in my moments of joy and elation.


I am thankful for 2010 - the good and the bad, the easy and the tough, the moments of elation and moments of devastation.  I am thankful for that which is past, and thankful that the future is also in His hands.


I want to live a life of gratitude, because I have so much not having deserved any of it.  I want to thank the God of enough.  It has been a good good year.

there is more!

so i've found there is more than this, more than just what the eye sees.  


to you with the big car, the massive house, the designer family, there is so much more.  to you the power hungry, that destroys everything that was before, just because it wasn't your idea.... there is more.


to you who manipulate those human beings that you're suppose to nurture and twist the truth, and maneuver everything to suit your goals, your wants, your needs... i'm telling you there is more.


to you whose heart has been broken, who's living in pain and daily agony, who's feeling isolated and can not think about the next 24 hours... there is more.


to you who is worried about the next bit of money, to pay the rent, pay with your soul, have something new that will bring you joy... there is more.


to the lost, the lonely, those who pretend they're ok, but they're not. it is ok, there is more.


there is a God who wants to bestow on you - love, joy, peace, hope, faith... in case you say "i'm too weary", "love is not enough", "no-one really cares", "my money will buy me happiness", "i'm too intelligent to believe", trust me and let me tell you there is more.


there is a life that is free, filled with love and unspeakable peace, that goes beyond understanding.  there is fullness beyond what you have ever experienced in your life.  there is abundance of relevation, excitement, contentment and those things that you have searched your whole life for.  trust me, i've been there.  all you have to do is ask.


and He WILL answer.