How will they know Me?

a journey that I am undertaking right now is the journey of faith - to believe that which we can not see but is certain of, to being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (NIV).

The Amplified Bible says in Hebrews 1:1 "NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses)"

so here's the thing.... we can easily have faith when everything works according to (my) plan... that which i've prayed for, asked for, is comfortable in, expecting.

however, when that faith is called to go beyond the "what" - the job/ relationship/ financial stability/ peace and comfort to the "who", that is when true faith is displayed.

I've come to realise that God is much more interested in my character than my comfort. God is much more interested in my growth than an easy life. God loves me much more than letting me live a life of mediocrity. And if I can't follow God through that which is not easy, comfortable, gladdening, instilling hope, then what do I believe?

If people can not see how God leads me through the hurt, the desperation, the loss, the hatred, how will they ever know His love?

God is not interested in me being a woman obsessed about her own glory, but He is looking for someone obsessed with the glory of God. If others do not see the Christ in me, how will they ever know Him. My life, walking with God through the good and the bad, the easy and the tough times, the reality of a life on this earth, might be the only Bible/ Word of God that they will ever read.

How will they know Him, through me?

tears....

i want to cry... for the twelve people that died in a sudden fire at a factory, for their families that will know that from now on their place will be empty, for their children that will be seeking for their lap to fall asleep upon and find that it will never be there

i want to cry... for good men and women who do good in this world, and are so often mistreated, not reckoned, abandoned, judged, misled, lied to....

i want to cry... for a nation that has been through so much and yet still has so much that lies ahead, that has seen and believed miracles to only see it destroyed by greed and mistrust and egos and more greed

i want to cry... for the earth that is struggling to breath, to comprehend how those that was supposed to be keepers can so easily turn their backs on what will be happening a decade from now or a year or a month

but mostly i want to cry... as yet, Your Kingdom has not come, Your will is mostly not done... i want to cry and mostly sometimes i just want to die... what a disappointment we've become....

it would have been her birthday celebration...

on Friday, 29 June 2007, our Ilne would have been seven. seven short years that we had been lent a little angel to receive a touch from heaven.

her birth was announced by her proud father, saying that she wanted to share in her mom's birthday cake. her mom was also born on that day.

it was harder than i thougth it would be. it reminded me of the all the birthdays to come, that we wouldn't have with her. and knew that as my other brother had rightly said, it will never really get that much better.

in the same week, a little girl, mikayla was found murdered in the back yard of her neighbour, in Swellendam. she was also only six years old. and somehow, something inside said enough.

i can not bring ilne back and by God's grace? it was freak accident that took her away, but in this society, this so-called new democracy, we've seen too many of our children murdered, raped, abused.

it is time to start fighting this evil with our voices, to pray to the living God of our nation to stop the hurt. too often we speak death, about the crime in our land, the drugs, the abuse, instead of praying for life. if you are reading this, i'm asking you to make a stand. a prayer stand, because that's the only thing that will change this land. God.

and we need to stand in the gap and pray for the miracle of change, in the hearts and minds of all of us in this land.

may you join me in this...