insanity

dream catcher dream catcher
catch me my dreams
before they disappear
in cynical silences
in backstabbing concrete walls
in delirious hatred
in the madness of our time

weave in me
conceive in me
a consciousness of limitless skies
a freedom that won’t let me
lie down, die down
without showing
God is ALIVE

Blue

i got not mail,

no mail i've got
so i'm singing the blues
i'm happy, so NOT

my mailbox is empty
my day is too
cos i got no mail
no mail from you

golgotha

so when all was said and done then

on that day emptier than any other

Your broken body hung there

Your bloody sacrifice seeping into the ground

in the shadow of that dreadful day

the Father’s heart had turned away

You had bourn all our sin and shame

the world had changed, never ever be the same

when all the jeers and insults with venom had been screamed

and spit and blood had mingled

just the crown of thorns remained

i could recognise myself there

staring at a man

i could even hear my voice there

laughing at the pain

so when all was said and done then

or that was what I thought

the cost of that great sacrifice

a sinner/ rapist/ murderer/ thief/ gossip/ slanderer

yes, my salvation bought

when all that i had ever done and yet

would do in years to come

was there on that cross of love

the world became strangely dim

and then it was just

me

and

Him

When you're going through hell....

We've all heard the saying that if you are going through hell, keep on walking.  It just suddenly struck me tonight, that that was what God expected from the Israelites. When He was leading them through the desert.  And there was a message in that for me.

Going through a specifically trying time in my life this year, it suddenly dawned on me:  Keep on walking.  (And this does not refer to the TV ad :) )

I can sit and have a small pity party for myself - I might even have a reason to do so (until I compare myself to others who have so much less).  I can grieve for what I do not have (and grieve I possibly sometimes will).  But when all of that is done, I need to know that I can't just sit and wait for better days.  Or until something changes.

God wants me to get up, and get going.  There might be days where I will just walk, not really talking to anyone, maybe not even to God.  Days where I might not even look up, as the journey is incredibly hard.  Days where I will be thankful for refreshment of God's touch, and friends' and family's love.  There will be water out of a rock, some oases in the midst of that long outstretched space of nothingness (and everything).

God promises not to forsake me.  He promises to show me the way.  He promises that He won't relent until He has my all.  But for now, I'll just keep on walking in the notion that I am not alone.

God bless you today.

Peace

Our world is in turmoil.  A country reeling from the aftermath of earthquakes and tsunamis, the world watching with baited breath as the Middle East and North Africa explodes again and people get killed as if is just another violent movie on TV, the murder of a terrorist (yes, I chose those words carefully), a world economy that is fragile.... everything that can be shaken is being shaken.  We celebrate the death of an evil man, call another's dead children "collateral damage".  We live in a world that has become desensitized to human beings' dying.

People hold peace talks, search for inner peace and decide what actions will bring about peace.  Doctors write scripts so that people can just be more at peace, talk show hosts interview hosts of gurus who will tell you how to find it.

But that's just it.  Peace is not something you can negotiate for (you might find some compromises, but is there peace in people's hearts?).  Peace is not something you can learn.  Peace is not something you can buy and peace is not attainable by filling the vacuum inside with wealth, power, crassness or any other promise that the world media would make us.  True peace is not something you can just achieve because you will it to be.

Attaining peace is hard, but yet so simple.  Jesus said:  My peace I give you, a peace that goes beyond any understanding.  The angels announces His birth with a message of peace to all the earth.

And that's where things seems to get really strange.  From the outside looking in, people sometimes might look at you, thinking that you have lost the plot or do not understand the questions of life. And if you look at your circumstances, youshould be panicking or berating others or at least complain bitterly about life being unfair.  But peace seems to cover over all of those emotions. So much so that you might even question your own sanity.

It gives you the wisdom to know whatever you are going through shall also pass.... It gives you faith to believe in that which you can not see.  It teaches you that everyone in this world get their moments of jubilant joy and their moments of terrible grief.  Peace teaches you that no matter what, God will be their with you. It teaches you that life takes strange paths, but that even if on a physical level there seems to be no open door, in the spiritual, God has not forgotten. Peace, almost like cotton wool or the womb of a mother, wraps around you and cushions you against life's bumps and major disasters.

Peace helps you when you need to learn about faith and truth and patience.  It takes you through the situation where you are down to nothing... but God.
Peace helps you to go on, even where there seems no way that you can.  Peace shows you that it's not about striving but about resting. Peace teaches you to turn, to Him, the Prince of Peace. 

May you experience the true peace that comes with knowing Him.  It is easy, not hard.

(If you'd like to know more, leave a comment on my blog.  God bless you.)

Maria

my kind, my Kind
wat het dan gebeur
die spykers, die bloed
ek dog Pilatus is goed
die skare word maller
en ek... word net banger
hoe staan jy onskuldig
gelsaan vir die gepeupel
my kind, my Kind
ek sien nog die ster
die herders en engele
die manne van ver
waar is jou vader dan
en ons Vader ook

dis skielik koud
en ek word oud
as ek hoor hoe jy afdaal
na die hel
ook my Hel

Goeie Vrydag

hoe kyk ons dan verdwaas

na die Redder van volke

Hy sou so alles

kom verander en regeer

hoe donker hier om ons

hoe koud in die dag

hoe min hul genade
hoe magtig God's krag?
hoe klein ons geloof dan
hoe blind dan ons oë
dat ons nie kan glo
of kan sien op die dag
Hy's dood! Hy's dood....
hoe duister die nag
hier op goeie Vrydag

back to basics....

We've all experienced it.  That moment of divine revelation, when things just fall into place and start making sense.  Or that moment when you are reminded of an old truth, that rings new again and gets a different dimension.

Last night we listened to an old Catholic priest reminding us of who we are.  He said that in this world, people describe themselves in terms of what they DO.... The question "who are you?" is answered with "I am a businessman", "I'm an athlete" as if the doing is more important than the being.

Another way the question is answered is terms of what you or others say about you.  It is positive in the world's eyes, measured in money, big titles, the shrewd businessman, or if you do not have those handles, you are the loser, or the "flaky" one or the hanger on.

And then of course the answer gets answered in terms of what you have: the man that owns the mansion on the hill, the woman with the sleek cabriolet, the old man that lives in a delapitated shack.

So who are you?  If you strip yourself from your work title, your daily objectives, your bank balance, your media persona.  Who are you, there where it is just you, and no-one else.

The priest reminded us that we are "sons and daughters of the one most High", that our identity is in Christ.  He reminds us that each of us is that unique human being, with the eye prints, foot prints, voice prints and DNA, that He has created.  That there is no-one that can fill that place and space that He has created us for.  The scriptures speaks about us being God's poema, His poetry, the ones He has plans for.

And here where I am, stripped of all but God and people that love me, I have to ask again:  Who am I?  Why am I here? And I have to hang onto God's promise that we are His children, bought at a very expensive price - the blood of the Son of the living God.

And if in times, nothing seems to make sense, we need to turn back to the basics.  God's love, our significance in His eyes, the freedom that He has made us for, the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit in us.  Basics.  Being present here in this moment, and leaving the rest to God's will, His works.

An old Celtic Blessing

This year has been tough, and my words few.  But i got reminded of this beautiful blessing tonight and wanted to share it.


May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.